Key Points:

• Social-emotional learning (SEL) helps children with autism understand emotions, improve social interaction, and manage behavior.
• SEL strategies must be adapted to fit individual strengths and communication styles.
• Integrating SEL into home, school, and therapy settings can support long-term emotional and social growth.

If you're a parent or caregiver of a child with autism, you've likely faced the daily challenge of helping them navigate social situations or manage overwhelming emotions. You may be wondering how to teach your child the skills to understand their feelings, connect with others, and handle stress in healthy ways.

That’s where social-emotional learning for children with autism comes in.

Social-emotional learning, often referred to as SEL, is a framework that helps children recognize and manage emotions, build relationships, and make responsible decisions. For neurotypical children, SEL can be challenging. For children with autism, it often requires intentional, individualized strategies.

This article will walk you through what SEL means in the context of autism, why it's so important, and how parents, teachers, and therapists can support a child’s development in this area.

What Is Social Emotional Learning?

Social emotional learning (SEL) refers to the process through which individuals learn to:

• Understand and manage emotions
• Set and achieve positive goals
• Feel and show empathy for others
• Establish and maintain positive relationships
• Make responsible decisions

In most school settings, SEL is woven into classroom discussions, group projects, and peer interactions. For children with autism, however, these concepts often don’t come naturally and may need to be taught explicitly.

Why SEL Matters for Children with Autism

Children on the autism spectrum often experience difficulties in social communication, emotional regulation, and perspective-taking. These are the very areas SEL is designed to support.

Here’s how SEL can benefit a child with autism:

1. Improves Emotional Understanding

Children with autism may struggle to label or identify their own emotions. SEL can teach them to recognize feelings like anger, sadness, excitement, or frustration, first in themselves, and then in others.

2. Enhances Social Skills

Understanding social norms and navigating peer relationships can be especially challenging. SEL can help teach children how to take turns, read facial expressions, share, and resolve conflicts.

3. Supports Self-Regulation

SEL includes learning strategies to manage stress, calm down when upset, and make thoughtful decisions. These skills are critical for children who may experience meltdowns or sensory overload.

4. Builds Confidence and Resilience

As children develop social and emotional skills, they often experience improved self-esteem and greater success in school and community settings.

Core SEL Competencies and How They Apply to Autism

According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), there are five key SEL competencies. Let’s explore each in the context of autism and how they can be adapted for meaningful development.

1. Self-Awareness

This involves recognizing one’s emotions, thoughts, and values—and how they influence behavior.

For children with autism:

• Activities may include identifying emotions using visuals or mood cards.
• Children can learn to name feelings using simplified language (e.g., happy, mad, scared).
• Tools like emotion thermometers or social stories can help connect internal states to outward behavior.

2. Self-Management

This includes regulating emotions, managing stress, and setting personal goals.

For children with autism:

• Techniques such as breathing exercises, fidget tools, or quiet spaces can support self-regulation.
• Structured routines and visual schedules can reduce anxiety.
• Reinforcement systems (like token boards) can help with motivation and goal tracking.

3. Social Awareness

This involves empathizing with others and understanding social cues.

For children with autism:

• Video modeling or role-playing can help teach how to interpret tone of voice or body language.
• Practicing perspective-taking with simple stories can make abstract ideas more concrete.
• Teaching empathy through structured lessons rather than expecting intuitive understanding is often more effective.

4. Relationship Skills

These include communicating clearly, listening, cooperating, and resisting inappropriate social pressure.

For children with autism:

• Direct instruction is key. Instead of assuming skills will be picked up naturally, they need to be broken down and practiced.
• Social skills groups can provide a safe space for guided interaction.
• Encouraging peer buddy systems or guided playdates can support generalization of these skills.

5. Responsible Decision-Making

This involves making choices based on ethics, safety, and social norms.

For children with autism:

• Teaching the consequences of actions through visual cause-and-effect charts can be helpful.
• Scenario-based activities allow children to practice evaluating situations and choosing appropriate responses.
• Adults can support decision-making by offering limited, structured choices to build independence.

How to Teach Social Emotional Learning to Children with Autism

1. Use Visual Supports

Children with autism often learn best through visual information. Tools like emotion wheels, comic strip conversations, and visual schedules can make SEL concepts easier to understand.

2. Practice with Structure and Repetition

Consistency is essential. Repeating SEL lessons and embedding them into daily routines helps children internalize the skills.

For example:

• Use the same language when talking about emotions (“It looks like you’re feeling frustrated because your toy broke”).
• Build “feelings check-ins” into the day, such as after school or before bedtime.

3. Model Social Emotional Skills

Adults should demonstrate the behaviors they want to teach. Narrate your own emotional experiences aloud to model emotional awareness and regulation.

Example:
“I’m feeling nervous because we’re running late. I’m going to take three deep breaths so I can calm down.”

4. Role-Play and Rehearse

Using pretend play or structured role-play gives children the opportunity to practice different social situations in a safe environment. Keep scenarios brief and focused on one skill at a time.

5. Incorporate Interests and Strengths

When SEL is delivered through a child’s special interests (e.g., trains, animals, superheroes), engagement increases. Build social stories or lessons around their favorite characters to help them grasp SEL concepts in a fun and personalized way.

Common Challenges and How to Address Them

Challenge: The child doesn't recognize emotions in others.

Solution:
Use pictures or videos of real faces with exaggerated expressions to teach emotional recognition. Practice labeling feelings often.

Challenge: The child becomes overwhelmed during social interaction.

Solution:
Break social situations into small, manageable parts. Offer prompts, supports, and breaks. Practice beforehand when possible.

Challenge: SEL lessons don’t seem to “stick.”

Solution:
Generalization takes time. Skills learned in therapy or school need to be practiced at home and in the community. Reinforce consistently across settings.

SEL in Different Environments

At Home

Parents play a key role in reinforcing SEL. Creating a home environment where emotions can be talked about openly helps children develop trust and emotional vocabulary.

In School

Educators can adapt SEL curricula to meet the needs of autistic learners. This might mean slower pacing, visual supports, or one-on-one instruction.

In Therapy

Therapies such as ABA can integrate SEL into behavior goals. Therapists can work on emotion recognition, coping strategies, and social skills through structured programs.

Support Social Growth Through ABA Therapy

Social-emotional learning is not just for neurotypical students. It’s a vital area of development for children with autism, impacting how they understand the world and connect with those around them.

When adapted thoughtfully, SEL can help children with autism thrive emotionally, socially, and behaviorally. While the learning process may take more time and support, the benefits are lifelong.

And with the help of individualized ABA therapy, these skills can be nurtured in a way that matches your child’s learning style, helping them build a foundation for success in all areas of life.

Helping your child build emotional and social skills can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. ABA therapy, or Applied Behavior Analysis, offers structured, evidence-based approaches that can be customized to target social-emotional learning for children with autism.

At Aluma Care, we specialize in ABA therapy in Kansas, creating individualized plans that focus on emotional understanding, communication, and meaningful social interactions. Our team at Aluma Care works closely with families to ensure these skills transfer beyond therapy into school, home, and community life.

If your child is struggling with emotional regulation or social engagement, early intervention through ABA can make a lasting impact.

Contact us today to learn more about our ABA therapy services in Kansas and how we can support your child’s social-emotional growth.